Sesame Street Personality?

Well, here is my Sesame Street personality... Bert.... What's yours?

You Are Bert

Extremely serious and a little eccentric, people find you loveable - even if you don't love them! You are usually feeling: Logical - you rarely let your emotions rule you You are famous for: Being smart, a total neat freak, and maybe just a little evil How you life your life: With passion, even if your odd passions (like bottle caps and pigeons) are baffling to others

The Sesame Street Personality Quiz

Open-Toed Shoe Pledge

As a member of the Cute Girl Sisterhood, I pledge to follow the Rules when wearing sandals and other open-toed shoes:

- I promise to always wear sandals that fit. My toes will not hang over and touch the ground, not will my heels spill over the backs. And the sides and tops of my feet will not pudge out between the straps.

- I will go polish-free or vow to keep the polish fresh, intact, and chip-free.

- I will not cheat and just touch up my big toe.

- I will sand down any mounds of skin before the turn hard and yellow.

- I will shave the hairs off my big toe.

- I won’t wear pantyhose even if my misinformed girlfriend, coworker, mother, or sister tells me the toe seam really will stay under my toes if I tuck it there.

- If a strap breaks, I won’t duct-tape, pin, glue, or tuck it back into place hoping it will stay put. I will get my shoe fixed or toss it.

- I will not live in corn denial. Instead, I will lean on my good friend Dr. Scholl’s if my feet need him.

- I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes at Payless for the low, low price of $4.99, even if my feet are small enough to fit into the kids’ sizes. This is out of concern for my safety, and the safety of others. No one can walk properly when standing in a pool of sweat and I would hate to take someone down with me as I fall and break my ankle.

- I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day it my toes swell and begin to look like Vienna sausages.

- I will be brutally honest with my girlfriend, sister, or coworker when she asks me if her feet are too ugly to wear sandals. Someone has to tell her that her toes are as long as my fingers and no sandal makes creepy feet look good.

- I will promise if I wear flip flops that I will ensure that they actually flip and flop, making the correct noise while walking, and I will swear NOT to slide or drag my feet while wearing them.

- I will promise to go to my local nail salon at least once every season and have a real pedicure (they are about $15 or $20 and worth EVERY penny).

- I will promise to throw away any white/off-white sandals that show signs of wear…. Nothing is tackier than dirty white sandals.

Have You Been Abducted By Aliens??

Well, luckily there is very little chance that I have ever been abducted by aliens!!! Here are my results.

What about you?

There's a 12% Chance You've Been Abducted By Aliens

There's virtually no chance you've been abducted by aliens. But there's always hope for the future!

What Are the Chances that You've Been Abducted by Aliens?

I hate My Hair!

I got all my hair cut off when Ian was a few months old, and it went shorter and shorter… I really like it because it was quick and easy to fix, and I thought it was pretty flattering. Well, several weeks ago my sweet husband worked up the nerve to tell me that he really liked my hair long and wished that I would grow it back out. He also disclosed that my mother felt the same way but was afraid to tell me…..

After a few days of pouting, I decided to go ahead and grow it back out. I actually like it longer too, but I really hate the in-between stage. The next few months are going to be really tough….



Here's my hair at it's shortest a few months ago..













I guess that this is where I want to get back to..



















Here's where I am right now....

What Kind of Coffee Are You??

Here are my results, and I've been totally pegged!!!

You are a Black Coffee

At your best, you are: low maintenance, friendly, and adaptable At your worst, you are: cheap and angsty You drink coffee when: you can get your hands on it Your caffeine addiction level: high

What Kind of Coffee Are You?

Aggravation...

That’s me today – Aggravated. I work for a company that is part of a much larger organization. My company has dealings with our sister companies, as well as outside companies. Why is it that we have a much harder time dealing with our sister companies than the ones that are totally separate from us??? Our sister companies gripe and complain about us FAR more than anyone else, and I just don’t understand it. We all really do have one common goal, and we should all be working together! But it just doesn’t work that way…. Makes me want to pull my hair out!

Who Is Smarter???

Oil Change instructions for Women:


1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since the lastoil change.





2) Drink a cup of coffee.





3) 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintainedvehicle.





Time spent: 15 minutes





Oil Change instructions for Men:


1) Go to auto parts store and write a check for $50.00 for oil, filter,kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree.





2) Discover that the used oil container is full. Instead of taking it backto O'Reilly to recycle, dump in hole in back yard.





3) Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.





4) Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.





5) Place drain pan under engine.





6) Look for 9/16 box end wrench.





7) Give up and use crescent wrench.





8) Unscrew drain plug.





9) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: get hot oil on you in process. Saysome not-nice words.





10) Clean up mess. Look for oil filter wrench.





11) Give up; poke oil filter with screwdriver and twist off.





12) Buddy shows up. Decide to finish oil change tomorrow.





13) Next day, drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car.





14) Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during previous step.





15) Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil togasket surface.





16) Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.





17) Remember drain plug.





18) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.





19) Discover that the used oil is buried in a hole in the back yard, alongwith drain plug.





20) Uncover hole and sift for drain plug. Discover that first quart offresh oil is now on the floor.





21) Slip with wrench tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame.





22) Bang head on floorboards in reaction to step 21.





23) Have a tantrum.





24) Throw wrench.





25) Clean up hands and forehead and bandage as required to stop blood flow.





27) Lower car from jack stands.





28) Accidentally crush one of the jack stands.





29) Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled back afew steps before.





30) Brag that there is no sense going to those expensive oil change placesyou can simply change the oil yourself.





Time spent: 1 day, 4 hours and 52 minutes

The New Miracle Diet

The New Miracle Diet

Americans are always on the lookout for a new diet. The trouble with most diets is that you don’t get enough to eat (the starvation diet), or you don’t get enough variation (the liquid diet), or you go broke (the all-meat diet).

Consequently, people tend to cheat on their diets, or quit after 3 days, or go right back to stuffing their faces after it is all over. Is there nothing you can do but give up and tell your friends you have a gland problem? Well, now there’s the new Toddler Miracle Diet! Over the years you may have noticed that most two-year-olds are trim. Pediatricians in consultation with X-ray technicians and distraught moms have formulated this new diet. It is inexpensive, offering great variety and sufficient quantity. Before embarking on this diet, however, be sure to check with your doctor. Good luck!

DAY ONE
-------
Breakfast:
One scrambled egg, one piece of toast with grape jelly. Eat 2 bites of egg, using your fingers; dump the rest on the floor. Take 1 bite of toast, then smear the jelly over your face and clothes.

Lunch:
Four crayons (any color), a handful of potato chips, and a glass of milk (3 sips only, then spill the rest).

Dinner:
A dry stick, two pennies and a nickel, 4 sips of flat Pepsi.

Bedtime Snack:
Toast piece of bread and toss it on the kitchen floor.

DAY TWO
-------
Breakfast:
Pick up stale toast from kitchen floor and eat it. Drink half bottle of vanilla extract or one vial of vegetable dye.

Lunch:
Half a tube of "Pulsating Pink" lipstick and a handful of Purina Dog Chow (any flavor). One ice cube, if desired.

Afternoon Snack: Lick an all-day sucker until sticky, take outside, drop in dirt. Retrieve and continue slurping until it is clean again. Then bring inside and drop on the rug.

Dinner: A rock or an uncooked bean, which should be thrust up your left nostril. Pour grape kool-aid over mashed potatoes; eat with a spoon.

DAY THREE
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Breakfast:
Two pancakes with plenty of syrup, eat one with fingers, rub in hair. Glass milk: drink half, stuff other pancake in glass. After breakfast, pick up yesterday’s sucker from rug, lick off fuzz, and put it on the cushion of your best chair.

Lunch: Three matches, peanut-butter and jelly sandwich. Spit several bites onto the floor. Pour glass of milk on table and slurp up.

Dinner: Dish of ice cream, handful of potato chips, some red punch.

FINAL DAY
---------
Breakfast: A quarter-tube of toothpaste (any flavor), bit of soap, an olive. Pour a glass of milk over bowl of cornflakes, add a half-cup of sugar. Once cereal is soggy, drink milk and feed cereal to dog.

Lunch: Eat crumbs off kitchen floor and dining room carpet. Find that sucker and finish eating it.

Dinner: A glass of spaghetti and chocolate milk. Leave meatball on plate. One stick of mascara for dessert.

How American Am I? How About You?

In honor of Independence Day... Here's mine:

You Are 71% American

Most times you are proud to be an American. Though sometimes the good ole US of A makes you cringe Still, you know there's no place better suited to be your home. You love your freedom and no one's going to take it away from you!

How American Are You?